Are you out of control?

THE DRAIN: Too Many To-Dos

You’re trying to write an essay for a grad school application, but your mind wanders as you zero in on the kitchen floor that needs washing, then circles around to the dry cleaning you forgot to drop off and lands back at a table where you’re working that’s filled with bills. Oh yeah, the essay. Why is it so hard to concentrate? “Goals as simple as running an errand or paying a bill tend to intrude into people’s thoughts and awareness, making it difficult to focus on tasks that require self-control,” says E. J. Masicampo, PhD, who runs the Masicampo Social Psychology Lab at Wake Forest University.

RESTORE: Out with the Old, In with the New 

“Each unfulfilled goal is like a new voice in the back of the mind saying, ‘Finish me. Finish me.’” While the optimal solution is to finish one task before starting another so each can have your undivided attention, that’s not always practical. Another way to quiet the pesky voices is by writing down how you will complete the unfinished task, suggests Masicampo. “Decide exactly when, where and how you will pay the bill, run the errand or complete the work assignment and it will become much less of a distraction.”

THE DRAIN:Friends with Bad Habits

Your night out with the gang has turned into a pity party. The complaints about work, relationships and life come at a fast and furious pace, and you’re right in the fray—did you even know your outlook was so negative? Or is it? Maybe it’s time to opt out of these get-togethers and/or think about spending time with people who are more positive.

RESTORE: Find Role Models for Good Health

Four years ago, James Fowler, PhD, and Nicholas Christakis, MD, made headlines with landmark research demonstrating how happiness spreads like a virus. It’s the three degrees of separation theory of social networks: One person’s happiness triggers a chain reaction that benefits not only his friends, but his friends’ friends and his friends’ friends’ friends. Previous studies had found a similar epidemic effect with obesity and smoking.

Now, researchers from the University of Georgia have found that self-control may also be contagious. In a recently published series of studies involving hundreds of volunteers, researchers have determined that watching or even thinking about someone with strong self-control makes you more likely to exert willpower. That means that thinking about someone who sticks to a workout routine, for example, may make you more likely to adhere to a budget, fulfill a career goal or follow through on a diet. The researchers found that the opposite holds, too. People with little self-control influence others negatively.

By surrounding yourself with supportive people and celebrating successes—yours and theirs—you build a life that takes you closer to all your goals. And you may just be helping them reach theirs, too.