Your summer wish list—as told by us

Shutterstock | Javier Brosch

All in good fun, we’ve concocted a summer wish list we think any nurse can appreciate. Of course, we don’t presume to know all of your innermost, nurse-y desires, but we’d like to think that we have a few solid hunches.

Here’s to pipe dreams!

1. An 8am barbecue 

You love a good barbecue. Extra bacon burgers, vegan kabobs—you don’t discriminate. You relish all of it. At a barbecue, not only are you consuming real, flame-cooked food items, but you’re also sharing your waking hours with more than one person who you know and like.

Only here’s the thing—you miss about 99.9 percent of these rare and wonderful events, because when you work the night shift (or even just a long shift), socializing isn’t terribly feasible. So, just once, you’d love to receive an invitation to a summer potluck that starts right when you end your shift and the hunger pangs are in full swing.

So, like, 8am….

2. A relatively disaster-free 4th of July 

You like America and all, but no matter how great you think freedom is, you really struggle with the 4th of July as a whole. Not only are you usually working while your friends and family paint their faces red and blue, but it’s also one of those holidays during which people are injured at a rate and level of absurdity that never ceases to amaze you.

That said, you really wouldn’t mind an alcohol/fireworks-free 4th of July. Or, if that’s too much to ask for, a celebration that takes place in intervals to keep the ER from imploding.

Unless, of course, you have the day off. In which case—carry on, America.

3. A little temperature consistency

For as long as you can remember, the temperature inside the hospital has always been inversely proportional to that of the outside world. The hotter it is outside, the colder the conditions in the hospital become. As a result, you leave your home in short-sleeve, lightweight scrubs, sweat a little en-route to the hospital and then enter a frozen tundra wholly unprepared for the shock of it all.

Indeed, the difference is so drastic, and the drop in temperature so extreme, that by the time you’re able to adjust, you’re clocking out.

Which is why it would be just peachy if the anonymous but clearly unfeeling being who controls the hospital’s thermostat would download the weather app. Or just, you know, step outside for a second.

4. An aggressive social media filter

You love your friends, but you’re so tired of coming across the summer vacation photos they’ve posted on Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr, followed by #TheGoodLife or #MargaritasForDayz.

But in all honesty—there are moments when your only aim is to accept a friend request during all two minutes of your break, and before your can avert your eyes, you’re positively inundated with pictures of white sand or wine tastings. On a TUESDAY.

So, sanity being the goal here, you wouldn’t hate a social media filter that actively removes all vacation-related images from your news feed during work hours. Along with any posts from that part-time yoga instructor friend who’s constantly telling you that you need to “relax.”

5. A more malleable summer season

In a more perfect world, the full length of summer would shrink and expand in accordance with the amount of time you’ve been able to spend enjoying it. Do your hospital’s staffing conditions have you logging more hours? Right then—a longer summer it is. Fewer hours? Maybe still a longer summer….

Of course, we’re not really sure how we’d work that out with Mother Nature, but we’re thinking we’ll just table the question for now.

6. A summer bonus

Is that a thing? If not, it totally should be. Starting yesterday.