The all-new, totally accurate lunch menu selection card

ENTREES
Chicken-flavored hockey puck
Beef-flavored mound
Fish-flavored substance

Please select your choice of gravy or marinade:
Cream-ish gravy
Brown-ish gravy
Extremely pretentious citrus glaze that contains no actual citrus and, in fact, comes out of a big bag shipped to us by the food supplier

Please select your choice of cooking methods:
Roasted to a crisp
Grilled to a crisp
Fried to a crisp
Nuclear option (not allowed on soft-mechanical, soft or Not Your Own Teeth diets)

Scrubs

Next: Sides →