The myth of nurses dating doctors

Why do so many dramas depict doctors and nurses spending more time having sex on the job than they do treating patients? Do these kinds of affairs really happen that often? And what are you supposed to do if you are a nurse that’s interested in dating a doctor?

We have all the information you need to navigate this tricky subject. Keep reading to find out how your personal life can affect your nursing jobs.

Do Doctors and Nurses Have Affairs?

Yes, nurses and doctors DO date each other, but not nearly on the scale that Hollywood would have you believe.

Doctors and nurses are human just like everyone else. They can be attracted to one another and may even pursue a long-term relationship if they find they are compatible.

The long hours and extreme situations of a medical environment can lead to more intense closeness than other workplaces. But nurses are just as likely to date other kinds of staff members as they are doctors. For example, nurses date other nurses. Nurses date nurse practitioners, EMTs, cafeteria personnel, and even custodial staff.

Nurses and doctors tend to have a lot in common, which can propel them towards relationships. They both know how stressful the healthcare industry can be, which can give them something to relate to.

But no one wants to sit around talking about work all day. That’s why nurses and doctors often prefer to date people that work in other fields.

Is It Okay for Nurses to Date Doctors?

Yes, it is okay for nurses to date doctors unless the company or facility has a policy that bans employees from dating one another.

If you hit it off with a doctor that works at your hospital, you both might want to review the employee guidelines before going public with your relationship. Consider talking to management to see if they have an issue with the idea.

If you are dating a doctor that works at another hospital or company, you shouldn’t have a problem.

Somehow, though, when nurses do date doctors, that romance is susceptible to more intense scrutiny than other relationships.

Nurses dating doctors is a hot-button issue with real-life repercussions. When you engage in that romance, be prepared for gossip from coworkers, unhappy supervisors and possibly a damaged professional reputation. How? Because no matter how it ends, your colleagues could get caught up in your drama, and that can lead to long-term career damage. And as unfair as it may seem, that impact is more than likely to be felt most by the nurse in the relationship.

So, let’s go over a few rules to make sure you’re savvy and don’t come away with professional regrets. If you plan on dating a doctor, keep these tips in mind to avoid any unnecessary drama.

• Keep it quiet. Especially in the early days of a relationship, it’s important that you don’t provide workplace gossip fodder. Don’t text “Hey Stud Muffin” notes to your honey at work, which could actually be grounds for getting fired. Avoid any hand-holding, stolen kisses or other PDA (public displays of affection) on the job. If you go to lunch or take breaks together, help keep speculation under control by inviting other people along sometimes. When dating after hours, don’t go to the usual haunts where other nurses, doctors and medical technicians hang out. Always maintain your professional demeanor when working—no “babe” or “sweetie” when addressing one another. “It’s important to keep it out of the hospital, or wherever you work,” says Sarah Dolloff, a registered charge nurse at Sacred Heart Hospital on the Emerald Coast in Miramar Beach, Fla. “People do gossip at work—especially women. They’ll talk about who they saw together and stuff like that. That’s why you want to make sure you act professionally at all times at work.”
• Check the employee handbook. Always make sure you’re cool with your organization’s policy regarding workplace dating. Most nurses don’t report to doctors, but if there’s any supervisory role between you and your honey, you may be violating a rule regarding supervisors dating subordinates. “When I worked in a university hospital, we socialized quite a bit with the male residents and interns,” Dolloff says. “But in a community hospital, it’s much more formal. You’ve got to be aware of what’s okay and what’s not okay in that setting.”
• Set some ground rules. While it may sound unromantic, make sure anyone you date from work understands that you want to be discreet, and if it doesn’t work out, you still want to be discreet. “There are some hospitals that are so big, the two people might never see each other at work. But if you’ve got an orthopedic doctor working with an orthopedic nurse, for example, they’re going to be running into each other all the time,” Dolloff says. “I’d have an issue with a nurse who didn’t behave professionally when she worked with someone she was dating.”

And while fuming silences, spats in the hallway, tears and nasty remarks after a bad breakup make for good TV, they can give supervisors digestive problems. Be clear up front that no matter how the relationship works out, you want to protect your career. Make sure that viewpoint is heard and respected before moving forward, or you could be heading for real heartbreak—both personally and professionally.

You will need to communicate regularly with your partner as the relationship continues. Talk openly about your frustrations, hopes, or desires if your love life is starting to affect your reputation at work.

Keep this information in mind to make the most of your new romance. But some things are better left outside of work. You don’t want to wind up the subject of every conversation at the watercooler.