Our 20 funniest nursing quotes

5. “TMB. One of my favorite doctors actually used this as a diagnosis—’Too Many Birthdays’! Haha.”
— Amanda Belcher Klumpp on Nursing slang terms—got any top picks?

6. “I was taking care of a 96-year-old black lady who thanked me repeatedly for being an angel. ‘Oh, I’m no angel,’ I assured her, ‘just ask my kids. They think I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.’ Without skipping a beat, she said, ‘Child, that means you’re doing your job.’ I love that lady sooooo much and have used her line repeatedly on my kids, much to their displeasure!”
— Maureen Evers on Facebook sweeps question “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?”

7. “I took a nap in the broom closet and forgot to wake up, and the entire staff looked for me for an hour. They thought someone had kidnapped me because it was on third shift and the nursing home was out in the boondocks.”
— Patrika Cos on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve take a nap?”

8. “Nap? What is that? Being a nurse I rarely find myself with the luxury of a nap. Those little catnaps work wonders, though…I woke up with my head on the laundry basket in the closet. I only got down there to find my missing shoe, I swear. LOL!”
— Tina Christensen on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve taken a napp?”

9. “One time when I had worked a double and came back the next day, I had very little sleep in between and was sooooo tired I fell asleep sitting on the toilet!”
— Cathi Alexia Spears on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve taken a nap?”

10. “Forensic Pathologist fishes a body out of a river and knows right away it’s a nurse. Why? The stomach was empty, the bladder full, and the a** completely chewed off!”
— via Theresa Brown, nurse, New York Times blogger, and contributor to Scrubs magazine and shared on Facebook.com/FunnyNurses