“No, no…it’s not Fight Club, it’s Nurse Club”

The first rule of Nurse Club is you never, EVER say the words “quiet” or “slow” on a nursing unit. This unspeakable act will cause a domino effect of terrible things to occur that will cause the unit to be so painfully busy, we will all beg for mercy.

The second rule of Nurse Club is you never, EVER say the words “quiet” or “slow” on a nursing unit.

The third rule of Nurse Club is if someone says they can’t take it anymore and needs a break, you cover their patients while they step outside. No questions asked.

The fourth rule of Nurse Club is only two tries for each IV. If you can’t get it after two tries, get someone else.

The fifth rule of Nurse Club is only one shift at a time. I don’t care if this is your third day in a row or seventh of eight…we are here for this shift right now. Twelve hours at a time—LET’S GO.

The sixth rule of Nurse Club is dirty scrubs, go change. Working in dirty scrubs (and by dirty, I mean someone’s blood, urine, feces, drainage or sputum came into contact with you) is nonnegotiable, even if it’s a small amount. You do not need to ask us to watch your patients while you go get situated. We already will, go change…like, STAT.

The seventh rule of Nurse Club is fighting for someone’s life will go on as long as it has to. You will give everything in you for their life until the patient, their health care power of attorney, their next of kin or the physician says stop. The second that happens, you stop.

The eighth rule of Nurse Club is if you’ve never done something before and it needs to be done, you’re doing it. Even if it’s not your patient.

NURSE CLUB!

To read more, visit NurseEyeRoll.com.

 

Learning how to be a great nurse at the bedside while maintaining your sanity at home is no easy task. Becoming Nursey: From Code Blues to Code Browns, How to Take Care of Your Patients and Yourself talks about how to realistically live as a nurse, both at home and at the bedside…with a little humor and some shenanigans along the way. Get ready: It’s about to get real, real nursey. You can get your own copy at at NurseEyeRoll.com (pdf), Amazon (paperback) or Goodreads (ebook).