More goofy hospital chart bloopers

For a sequel to last week’s popular list of bloopers, we present another list of bloopers.
Now, our sources insist that these are all real. That’s what makes them so dang funny!

Our Favorite Mistakes Made in the Pursuit of Care

1. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

11. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

Got any more good bloopers to share?