By
On the job:
“You’re so welcome, it’s been a real pleasure treating you. But wait, just out of curiosity…have you officially been cleared for human contact yet?”
“These people…they all have similar symptoms. Every. Last. One.”
“I THINK IT TOUCHED MY EXPOSED WRIST. I REALLY THINK IT DID.”
“Oh, undiagnosed, possibly undocumented symptoms, you say? Okay, fine—I’ll enter the room, but I’m not happy about it. I’d also like a few minutes to get all of my affairs in order first.”
“All I’m saying, Karen, is that there’s no way they’ve removed all traces of yesterday’s ‘incident’ from the walls already.”
“Can you maybe dispose of those gloves before joining us in the break room?”
When off the clock:
“Like, I want to shake your hand—I really do. I just don’t know where it’s been.”
“This club is super great….”
“MUST. AVOID. MAN. WITH. COUGH.”
“Spring Break ’15!”
…are we right? Or are we right?!
