Scrubs

Even in Death, There are Gifts

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In nursing, we have the privilege to witness many special events in the lives of our patients and their families. This is especially true with hospice workers, when the nurse has the opportunity to work with patients and families as they struggle with many issues at the end of life.

LIFE LESSONS LEARNED AS A NURSE

was a 78-year-old patient with metastatic breast cancer, who was admitted to our home hospice program. It was clear that a major focus of Maggie’s life was her only daughter. Maggie made it clear early on that she did not want her daughter to be alone with her when she died. As time progressed and my relationship with Maggie grew, she wanted me to reassure her that I would be present – with her daughter – when she died. However, as a home hospice nurse rotating on-call responsibilities, I knew I might not be present at the time of her actual death. I couldn’t promise her that I’d be there.

LESSONS FROM THE DYING

After three months of care, Maggie had a change in her condition. She was no longer responsive to verbal stimuli, and death was quickly approaching. Her daughter contacted the on-call nurse, who quickly made a home visit. Yet, Maggie was holding on and would not let go. After six hours, the on-call nurse got in touch with me to make me aware of the situation. I quickly left to visit and sat by Maggie’s bed. I held her hand and told her that I was there. Maggie took her last breath with me – and her daughter – by her side.

GIFTS FOR CAREGIVERS

I learned a great lesson from Maggie about death and motherhood. Even in death, she gave her daughter a gift. Maggie held on to ensure that her daughter had the support system she wanted her to have. As a hospice nurse, I often think of how fortunate I am to be witness to the many life-changing events in the lives of my patients and their caregivers. There are few professions that offer such benefits.

Shawn McNamara
Shawn McNamara, MS, RN is the Nursing Program Administrator/Assistant Dean at Community College of Baltimore County, MD.

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