Nurse bullying is a thing, and it affects all nurses, directly and indirectly. Passive aggressive interactions with your peers can leave you feeling emotionally drained and defeated. Yet, whether 10 or 30, a bully can always be put in their place. You just need to have the right tools to get them there.
What is Passive Aggressive Behavior?
Adults use the passive aggressive tactic often in their interactions as a natural defense mechanism. What is important to remember is that passive aggressive behavior is based on fear, where the individual is trying to avoid direct confrontation with their intended target. Some of the most common examples used by nurses include:
What is important to remember about these types of bullies is that their behavior is fear based. The fear that they have is of confrontation, which is why they actively seek out individuals who they consider to be weak. They know that these individuals won’t call them out for their behavior.
Confronting the Passive Aggressive Nurse at Work
If you are trying to cope with a passive aggressive co-worker, you need to start by confronting the action, not the individual. If you jump to attack them, they will automatically go on the defense and the conversation will not end well. Use a more constructive approach that lets them know you understand what is going on, and are not the weak individual they perceived you to be.
Practicing Assertive Communication
Watch the way in which respected nurse managers and other supervisors interact in the work place. The most effective ones communicate using assertive skills. There is a confidence in how they speak, yet they are non-reactive and respectful at all times. This is good practice for dealing with a passive-aggressive co-worker. Remember not to interject personal blame, but listen to their side, and then stick to your guns about not tolerating any more masked hostility in the future.
These types of individuals thrive on knowing that they are getting underneath your skin, so resist giving them that satisfaction. Once you start facing them head-on and calling out the behavior, they will realize that you are not the weak minded person they assumed you were.
You should also be self-aware enough to know when you are exhibiting passive aggressive behavior yourself. All of us do from time to time, especially when we are angry. Getting angry is a normal reaction, it is how you react to the emotion that you need to watch. This is the time when you rise to the occasion and put assertive communication into practice. You’ll be amazed at how much more respect you earn and work you can get accomplished when you confront an issue head on with your fellow nurses.
The nurse bully may not be stealing your lunch money, but they are sabotaging your opportunity to enjoy work and excel in your career. Learn to put them in their place right from the start to create a positive and productive workplace for the entire nursing staff.
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