Beware the potluck vultures

I don’t mean to be a Turkey Scrooge but I absolutely hate working on the holidays. Every year. And every year that I hate it I wonder why I continue to be surprised by it. Hellloooo, I do work in a facility that is open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Like 7-11, only with less snacks and more insanity. Okay, the latter is questionable, I am sure there are some 7-11 employees with stories that would give me a run for my money.
The evening shift tried to have our own ‘food share’ last Fourth of July and word got out that there was a “potluck” in the conference room and all hell broke loose. You may say what is the difference between a “food share” and a “potluck”? Semantics really. BUT a food share you know exactly how many people are going to be there and you bring that much food. Not a bit more. There is nothing extra for the free foodies out there. And I let it be known that it was a food share; not a potluck. Let’s just say that I actually kicked people out. It was not pleasant and I did not winning any popularity vote that day.

One of the biggest reasons I hate working on the holidays is that there is always a potluck (not a food share). Here’s the problem I have with potlucks: Everyone wants to eat even if they didn’t bring anything. This is just being a bad guest (and some may argue a bad human being) plain and simple. Every one can bring something besides their appetite. Even if it’s a bag of three dollar carrots. And yet the majority of people feel somehow entitled to my crudités plate or Sheryl’s brownies. Put the Chinette down and back away from the table please.

The other reason I hate potlucks is because I work the evening shift. So the evening shift staff trots in with their potluck dishes in hand and, like the drunk, young college girl falling for the “I love you” line, sets down their dish in the ultimate trap. The Bermuda Triangle of food if you will. Because right when we start our shift, day shift goes on break; so by the time we get back there by our break it is slim pickin’s. If any pickin’s at all.

It’s taken me awhile to stop falling for the “I love you” line. This year, bah humbug it, I am not participating in any potluck. Are you? I plan to walk over to the cafeteria and get my free Turkey day dinner. The joke may ultimately be on me but at least I will be standing true to my potluck principles.