Categories: Scrubs

A nurse’s New Year’s resolutions

iStockphoto | Thinkstock


2011 is here.  That means it’s time to make your resolutions! We’ve polled some of our favorite nurses to see what they’re planning to do to make 2011 the Best Year Ever. Here are the results:

●     I will give up chocolate. Really. Honest. Why is everybody laughing?

●     I will stop blaming my electronic charting errors on magnetic storms and nearby lightning.

●     I will not bore my NM by calling in with the same old excuse. I will come up with creative, exciting reasons why I can’t make it in to work.

●     I will grow into my weight. By December 2011, I expect to be 9 feet tall.

●     I will stop looking for arcane wisdom hidden in my patients’ tattoos.

●     I will refrain from sneering at anyone who has more than five body piercings but claims to be afraid of needles.

●     I will never give a laxative and a sleeping pill to a patient at the same time. Even if I’m going off duty immediately thereafter.

●     I will no longer shout “Hooray!” and throw confetti when a PITA decides to go AMA. At least not where anyone can see me.

●     The words “Hey, we could all use a little diversion around here” will never come out of my mouth again.

●     I will buy all of my lotto tickets at a luckier store—and finally get the clerk to give me my money back for all the defective tickets I bought before!

What’s your New Year’s resolution?

JournalofNursingJocularity

The Journal of Nursing Jocularity’s quarterly publication for nurses (Spring 1991 - Spring 1998) was written, edited, illustrated and published by nurses and health professionals. Filled with satire, true stories, cartoons, and all around funny stuff related to nursing and health care – it established its place in nursing history as the only humor magazine for nurses. You can now find the JNJ online at www.journalofnursingjocularity.com/.

Recent Posts

Leadership Qualities for Students

When we discuss students, we always mention their qualities. Those qualities show what they are…

11 months ago

A Comprehensive Guide to Dual Diagnosis Treatment Options

If you or someone you know is juggling mental health issues alongside substance abuse, understanding…

12 months ago

How To Take Care Of Your Mental Health While Following The News

For the last couple of weeks, the Israel-Hamas conflict has taken over the news cycle.…

12 months ago

Eyes on the Future: Innovations in Eye Treatment Lenses

Our eyes are invaluable, serving as our windows to the world. The ability to see…

12 months ago

Vision Issues Are on The Rise Among Nurses: Why and What to Do About It

Undoubtedly, one of the most demanding and challenging professions is nursing. Nurses work long hours in…

12 months ago

Echocardiography as a Diagnostic Tool: How Cardiologists Use Echo to Assess Heart Health

Echocardiography, or echo for short, is a key diagnostic test used by cardiologists to assess…

12 months ago