The things they carried…

As a nurse, you’re well aware that in order to deliver top-notch care, you’re often going to have to get up close and extremely personal with your patients. It’s no wonder you’ve witnessed a full range of what we’ll just call “quirks.”

Sometimes, those quirks involve smoked salmon and condoms.

Curious (as always), we asked you to dish on some of the more eccentric items that your patients have carried with them either in or out of the hospital. Below, you’ll find some of the real gems that we pulled from our Funny Nurses Facebook page.

Finally, should any of the following comments happen to be yours, we’d just like to say that we salute you for what must have been a formidable poker face.

 

Things they carried into the hospital…

“When I was in the hospital postpartum, I walked by my neighbor’s room and saw a full Confederate flag and various other red, white and blue decorations. Needless to say, I decided not to say hello.” —Andrea Bernal

“The ashes of a patient’s dead husband. The urn was bigger than the standard urn. It took three people to move it.” —Dave Cheryl Murray

“Had someone who brought a Chihuahua on the ambulance ride in a stroller and wanted to keep it in her room. She was there for a small bruise on her ankle….” —Trish Kolberg

“I had a patient who kept smoked salmon in the bedside table.” —Melissa Hartman-Rowe

“How about a vibrator and a box of condoms? It’s a hospital, not a hotel.” —Allie Kathleen Knauf

“I had a patient who had a parrot visiting him.” —Sylvia Donnelly

 

And the things they carried (or tried to carry) out…

“Umbilical cord clamp. I guess some moms tape it in the baby book, so I never toss it….” —Abby Cook

“A lot of folks like to keep unused condiments. I don’t argue. No harm in bunches of (unopened) sugar or salt.” —Carole Bryant

“I had a lady ask me to keep her PICC after I removed [it]. She said she wanted to take it home and put it in the box with all of her other ones! Twenty-two PICC lines and counting….” —Anne Vandermolen Willer

“I had a hoarder who kept every piece of disposable anything that came in the room, [like] the plastic lids from bowls or paper lining on his tray. I drew the line when I found empty ice cream Styrofoam cups in his drawer. Not even rinsed. I had to tell him every time he asked for ice cream, ‘The cup HAS to go in the trash.’ Reluctantly, he seemed to get the hint after a 12-hour shift.” —Theresa Pace

 

What about you? Have a similar story to share? Tell us about it in the comments section below!