9 warning labels I’d like to share with the world

Have you ever seen a gadget or piece of technology and thought, “That ought to come with a warning label”? I have. Here are some that, as a nurse, I’d like to see:

9. On stepladders: NOT TO BE USED ON TOP OF A CHAIR WHICH IS BALANCED ON A TABLE WITH SOME BOOKS ON TOP.

8. On barstools: WARNING: THE GROUND BENEATH THIS BARSTOOL IS NOT SOFT.

7. On the thermoses of hot chocolate in the employee cafeteria: DAYS WITHOUT MAJOR MOUTH BURNS: ZERO.

6. On iPads and smartphones: USE OF THIS DEVICE MAY RESULT IN YOUR BECOMING IRRITATINGLY ANTISOCIAL.

5. On Facebook: WARNING: POLITICAL POSTS WITH IMPROPER PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR WILL NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

4. On packages of plastic tape in the hospital: THIS TAPE WILL STICK TO ITSELF AND NOTHING ELSE.

3. On Magic Bullets, Osterizers and every other juicer or blender in the world: POINTY BITS ARE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SHARP. NO, REALLY.

2. On every resident I work with: WILL PLACE ONE ORDER EVERY 10 MINUTES. ORDERS MAY BE CONTRADICTORY.

1. And finally, on a sign around my neck: DO NOT APPROACH PRIOR TO COFFEE CONSUMPTION.