6 things every male nurse needs to know to survive

How does a man survive in a woman’s world? Here are some down-and-dirty survival tips that every ‘male nurse’ needs to know in order to survive in the wilderness of women.

Learn the ways of the Venutians

Men are truly from Mars, and yes Women are from Venus. We live on two different worlds, but we do occupy the same solar system. We speak different languages (spoken and bodily language). Social habits are on opposite ends of the pole. And we of course can’t agree on much other than the fact we are different. But, I guarantee you can all find commonality -which is being a nurse.

Never, ever, ever under any circumstances be that ‘typical’ man

OK guys. We have all heard the stereotype stories. Learn to not be THAT guy while at work. Even if you are, or can be, don’t be that guy at work of all places. If you’re not sure look around you? Are you always left high and dry? Little to no teamwork from the team? Always eating your meals alone? (hmm.. You might need to re-evaluate). If all else fails, simply ask a Venutian, they love to tell it like it is.

Learn to love the color pink (oh.. and candles too)

I’m not sure why, it just is. Never question, just assimilate – it’s safer that way.

Emotions are not what they seem

Crying is a form of trickery. Just because someone smiles and laughs at your jokes, does not mean they like you. When you hear them whispering, be sure to never look them in the eye. On the playground, guys will punch you in the face if they don’t like you, or have a dispute. After the punch, and the dust settles respect is exchanged and then call it even. In the wilderness women will find a way to extend their torture and mayhem over months at a time, redirecting their havoc to everything that affects you and then never fully admit their angst. Be careful, be very careful.

Being invisible is a good thing

Hypothetically speaking of course. When you become invisible, you are no longer viewed as the ‘male nurse’ or the ‘guy’ they work with. Now you’re just a fellow co-worker, or colleague. Camouflage is your best defense.

Always put the toilet seat down!

In most cases you are usually one of the few men working that shift, so when the seat is left up, the blame game gets REAL easy. Oh yeah, and if you fail to even move the seat during your ‘visit’, you better leave things in the same condition you found them. (Do I really need to explain the dribble effect??) Don’t ever let an angry wet-bottomed women corner you – you will not survive.

Disclaimer: Yes, once again this is all in fun. Anyone who is a ‘male nurse’ or works with them can take some humor from this post. In the end we are all part of the same awesome team. Gender is never an issue, until you make it an issue. All in fun…