13 Hilarious Nurse Bloopers, As Told by Nurses

It has been said that laughter is the best medicine. We see everything imaginable, and in order to handle emergencies and provide the best care possible, nurses need to be exceptionally well trained, and they need to have a healthy sense of humor. So let’s take a break from tragedy for a moment and share in the comedy of 13 hilarious nurse bloopers, as told by the nurses themselves.

Any Unusual Reactions to Medications?

When a nurse was asking a patient if she was experiencing any pain after treatment, the patient said she was feeling much better and did not have to take ibuprofen that day. On her medical chart, it read, “Patient claims that she has not taken any ‘ibu-propane’ today.’” The nurse remarked in relief that it was a good thing the patient was a “nonsmoker.”

Am I a Pediatrician or a Veterinarian?

When writing quickly on medical charts, funny mistakes tend to come out. The status of a young patient was recorded in a way that sounded like the patient was seeing a veterinarian. The chart read, “The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.” We can only hope the young patient received the same quality care as that of the turtle.

Mixing Up Descents

A patient was telling her nurse that her “Indian-cologist” was helping her to manage her diabetes. Little did the patient know that her endocrinologist came from an Italian background.

Have You Ever Nearly Laughed Yourself to Death?

During a medical examination, everything must be documented. A nurse was reading the chart for a current patient and nearly laughed herself to death. It was recorded that, “The patient has no past history of suicides.” The nurse then confirmed with the patient that the reported history was accurate.

All Mixed Up

Medical professionals are always busy, and things can get mixed up. A nurse remembered that a member of her staff once reported back to her about a confused patient by writing, “There was a mix up with the confusion.” The condition of confusion seemed to be significantly worsening.

I Guess You Had to Be There

It is unfortunate that some patients end up not making it. When an assistant told a nurse that, “The patient refused an autopsy,” she must have been compelled to run back into the room to check if the patient was still alive.

Hard Work Can Be Inspirational

A nurse working in the southeastern United States encountered a patient with “overactive sweat glands that were causing her to ‘aspire.’” Some people become inspired by the most interesting things. Have you ever been so motivated that you begin to perspire?

No Coverage Required

Whenever a patient is released, it is important that everything he or she needs is fully covered. While updating the nurse on the status of a patient, a medical assistant said, “The patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.” It’s a wonderful thing when the body is ready to heal itself again, but too much exposure could cause some trouble.

I’m Feeling Down. Any Recommendations?

A nurse who deals with a variety of patients says she is always being asked to provide the right “subscriptions” for her patient’s issues. Though it is her job to be well read on the latest health issues, the nurse usually only prescribes different volumes of medications.

She’s Now on the Floor, Looking All Over the Place

Have you ever looked all over the place for something, but still couldn’t see the cause of a patient’s problem? In regards to a patient, a nurse was oddly informed that “When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.” When that patient comes to, she is going to have to help the nurse by keeping an eye on her fainting spells.

Growing Into a Healthy Woman

When asked about her gynecology examinations, a female patient told her nurse, “I get my GYN done at ‘plant’ parenthood.” With the right amount of water and care, the patient will bloom into a healthy woman.

Depression Can Make Time Drag on Forever

A nurse was describing a patient’s mental health history and wrote, “The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.” Perhaps the nurse could have had more to do with the patient’s problems than she thought.

A Good Ending Is Possible

A healthy perspective can improve overall health. A nurse tracked the progress of a terminally ill patient by writing, “Long term goal: Patient will come to accept that he has a terminal illness and that life doesn’t have to end because of it.” Some things end too soon, and some things are said too soon.