You know you’re an LPN when…

See if you recognize yourself in the following tongue-in-cheek list, compiled by a 30-something Mississippi-based LPN.


1. You feel like Malcolm in the Middle—stuck between the RNs and CNAs.
2. You’re so used to eating cold food that you don’t bother microwaving anything other than coffee.
3. You put scissors, tape, TAO, Band-Aids and a black pen in your pocket everywhere you go.
4. You can identify pills found on the floor whether they’re brand-name or generic.
5. You are used to getting cussed out at 7 a.m. daily, thanks to the RP phone calls letting them know Mom’s Colace has been changed from capsule to tablet.
6. You go through more shoes than Paris Hilton to ward off foot pain.
7. You label all the meds you have at home with the “open” date and circle the expiration.
8. Your lunches sometimes consist of Mountain Dew and Snickers—the wrapper allows you to eat and chart without dirty fingers.
9. You get more puke and poo on yourself than a new mom.
10. You date and initial your kids’ Band-Aids.

Sound familiar? What would you add?